Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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