You can't motorboat a personality
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
