There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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