Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i out mim tonsoeep
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