My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
