...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
