Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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