Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
