you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize