Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
