I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
