Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
