I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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