How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
