Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
