I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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