they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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