she was so not down for the gang bang
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
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Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
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I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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