my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
