i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
