he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
