Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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