i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
