Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
