I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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