Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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