His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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