VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
