I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
