she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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