I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
