Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
