Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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