I think I just saw someone hide a body.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
