I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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