Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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