I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
