she was so not down for the gang bang
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
