yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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