he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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