1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We got so high we made milksteak
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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