how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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