she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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