The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
