Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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