I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months