I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies