sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
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you inspire me to be a worse person
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
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In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.