Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
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