His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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