That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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