I accidentally had phone sex last night
oh god the rape fog is back!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
