just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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