you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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