It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
