Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize