There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
