I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
