you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
