:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
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Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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