so explain again why im purple
no
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
