U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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