they need to just BURY HIM!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
