what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
