i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
